Publishing!

Yes! I have decided to publish my book! I'm going to publish it as an ebook through Amazon.com and buy advertising banners, as well as pay for a good book review. I am hoping to have this done by Christmas! I will also be creating a blog just for my book. Hope you follow!!

Been a while, yet again

I just saw my last blog and realized my blogs must be a way for me to vent my anger.
Nearly a month ago I started dating this guy who was really nice, and really fun. We spent a lot of time together, and then he said we were boyfriend/girlfriend. So we dated three weeks, two weeks as boyfriend/girlfriend.
Then last Friday, the 16, completely out of the blue, he broke up with me. He said he was really busy with school and work and just couldn't have the added stress of a relationship. Having been a student and working while I was in school, I understood.
Then Sunday, my "friend" Anissa blatantly flirted with him, in front of me, at a friend's house. I tried not to let it get to me, but they did it again Wednesday. Friday, Dalton asked if I wanted to do something and to invite some people. So I did, and when they left, Dalton wanted to stay and watch a movie. So we watched a movie, and he cuddled me and held my hand. When he left, he gave me a kiss. Saturday, he came over to get his movie, saying he wanted to watch it with his family. I found out, today, that he actually went to Anissa's to watch it and go on a date with her.
I am so frustrated with both of them. What kind of friend goes out with another friend's ex so soon after breaking up? I know I wouldn't ever do that. Even if I liked him.
So I went home after I found out, Dalton texted and asked why I didn't stay at church, and I didn't respond. Then he texted and told me Josh (my brother) told him I was upset and he wanted to talk to me about it. I still didn't respond.
He called and we talked. I told him why I was upset, that I was upset they lied to me and went behind my back. He said he told me he wanted to date other people when we broke up, but I corrected him. I added that I didn't care if he dated other people, just not to go behind my back and lie about it and pretend that it's not happening.
So now everything's out in the open and they know that I know and I'm not stupid, hopefully everything will end up being okay now.

Sucky Summer Days

Do you ever have days that just suck? That makes you wish you could just dig a hole and disappear? I'm having one of those days. So far, the only person in my family who hasn't attacked me is my dad, and that's probably only because he hasn't been home.
Sometimes I wonder why I liked to come home so much. Why I looked forward to moving home for the summer. Actually, to be honest, I didn't want to move home for the summer. I tried to find a job, but with the economy the way it is, I was forced to move home so I could work for the Boy's and Girl's Club again.
I just can't put up with being attacked all the time. It's constant. I never do anything, waste my life on my computer, never clean up around the house, never do anything Mom asks me to do, I'm selfish and lazy. We moved me out of my apartment on Wednesday and everything was fine until we got home. Then all hell broke lose. And today, it started with Alisha telling me I was disgusting because I didn't shower before church, then when I got home from church, Shayla and Josh tell me I never do anything around the house, that I'm always on my computer. And then Mom chews me out for never helping out around the house, not caring to notice I cleaned almost the entire house for a group of people that were coming on Friday.
(This all happened while I was on my computer looking up facts for a Hawaiian Jeopardy game I'm playing with the kids on Tuesday. No, I wasn't playing games. No, I wasn't on FaceBook). If you look at my computer, the only thing I ever do is work stuff and check my etsy account. I don't play games hardly at all--only if I'm waiting for something to bake. But EVERY day I come home from work I do something to help Mom, or work on one of my sculptures.
No one in my family gets me. I hate it. I have people paying me money to make sculptures for them, and everyone tells me I'm wasting my time and never contribute. I went to college to be a writer, and my family tells me to get off the computer and that I use writing my book as an excuse to never do anything. But you know what? Not ONE SINGLE PERSON in my family has EVER read ANYTHING I've written. Not in my 24 years of life.
I feel like a waste of space. My family really doesn't want me here. They want me to move out on my own, so Mom doesn't have to do my laundry or cook or clean for me anymore. They want me to move out so I won't cause contention.
A few weeks ago I packed a bag to stay overnight at a Hotel, but I never got out of the house. I'm considering it right now. I actually have $ in my account now. If I didn't have to live home, everyone would be a lot happier. Unfortunately, I can't find information about where to live and how much. And I'm in limbo because I don't know what's going on with the jobs I interviewed for and I won't know until next month.
PLEASE let me get a job away from home. I really really want my own place where I can do whatever I want and to one tells me I'm lazy or selfish. Just a place for me.

Crazy Days

Well, it's been really crazy with a lot of good and a lot of bad. Work is fun, but busy. I work 8+ hours a day, depending on whether or not the kids have a fieldtrip or not. I got my laptop fixed today, so now I actually have an R and O button again! And my keys are no longer sticky!!! *happy dance*
There are a lot of times I don't really feel like I belong in my family. Yes, I'm sensitive, but that's part of who I am. They pick on me a lot, and I feel out of place sometimes. I'll say something I think is funny, but they just look at me like I'm stupid. Shayla and Alisha always do stuff and say stuff together, and I feel really left out. Shay and Alisha also joke that I'm adopted, but I know I'm not. I just feel that way sometimes. It's been nice with Josh home, I feel like I have a friend at home again. But even he gets on me. *sigh*

It's been AGES!

So I created a new blog for "all of my clay stuff" and it ended up becoming an online journal. I was frustrated, because I was going to create a new blog for all of my clay stuff, and then I realized I have an old blog (this one) that I can switch my journal writing to! Hehe! Now I can delete the old blogs from that place, put them up here, and then make that one all about my clay!

Utter Failure

Okay. So the whole idea I had for creating an actual theme for a blog sucks. I failed.
However, there was a small reason to it...I haven't had a laptop in a month.
Yeah. It's hard enough to get by in this world without the convenience of a laptop, but imagine being an English major without a way to write a paper...It's neigh impossible.

Here's a rant for you.
My laptop died on Feb 7, so I took it into Best Buy (which is where I purchased it) and told them the laptop died and I don't know why. I was told my warrenty expired, so I would have to pay out of pocket. I asked when that happened and they said, "Oh a year ago." I asked if I could renew it/update it, and they told me I would've been informed through the mail that it was expiring. -_- How stupid could that be?
Anywho, so I had to pay an $85 fee for them to send my laptop off-site, because they (for some reason) couldn't check to see what the problem was there. I was told it would be 1-2 weeks and was given a receipt that told me it would be fixed and back to me on the 24th.
The 24th came and went and I called and asked where my laptop was. The BestBuy store said the only thing they could see was that the other place still had it. I couldn't get anything out of them, so I finally got my dad on the phone with me and the guy finally told us he could put in a request to have it done faster. The next day, they called me and said the repair was going to cost a grand total of $258.
I spoke with my parents and we debated for a long time until we finally decided to just put the $260 towards a new $800 laptop that will have a two year warrenty. We told BestBuy to send the laptop back without being repaired. I was finally able to pick it up on March 6 before Spring Break.
My dad had a family friend come and look at the laptop on Saturday to see if he could figure out what was wrong with it. I showed him the paperwork that said what BestBuy had diagnosed. They said there was a broken DC jack and the motherboard needed to be screwed back on. So he took the laptop apart and couldn't figure out why on earth they said the DC jack was broken.
He called his friend over, pulled out some testing equipment, and started to test where the power was in the laptop. Everything was fine. Then they moved to the power cord.
Yup! You got it! All I needed was a new $100 power cord!
To top it off, when I picked up my laptop, they were trying to figure something out about $50. My mom looked at the paperwork and informed me that BestBuy owes me $50.

I'm never buying from Best Buy again.

Life of a NORMAL College Student

I'm tired of hearing about the star football player and his amazing catch and how he's a 4.0 student. I'm tired of hearing about the captain of the basketball team, who is also the student body president, is taking 18 credits, and still maintains a GPA above 3.5, even though he's also got a job. I'm tired of hearing about the chess player with a full-tuition scholarships, the tennis player who has full-ride scholarships, and the frat/sorority students who get grants and money from parents, only to waste them on clothes, shoes, cars, and beer.

I want to tell about a normal college student. The girl who is in debt in order to get a higher education. The girl who is struggling to make car payments because her paycheck was short, who dropped her stats class, who has a broken laptop, who loves her low-paying job.

I want to tell about me.

No, this isn't a glory me/pity me blog. This is strictly for the sake of letting the world know that there are students who aren't so rich or smart to walk through school. There are students who aren't poor enough to get grants and help from the government.

I'm twenty two and in my fourth year of college. I graduated from high school in 2005, went to LDS Business College and graduated in 2007, and now I'm at Utah State University. I'm not saying I haven't had some good luck. I had full tuition scholarships through LDSBC and my first year at USU. But tuition isn't the only thing a student has to pay for. There is rent, books, car, food, gas, etc. I have debt.

Now, I know people are going to say, "You're a hypocrite!" I'm not. This is strictly for me.

This blog is going to be a day-to-day experience of what I go through. My worries and thoughts. This isn't to please anyone but myself. To tell a story I need to tell.